Today’s Biopsy Day…I Hope
Well today I am headed to The Breast Center for my ultrasound/mammo (whichever they decide to go with, hoping the ultrasound) and biopsy. Â Now for those of you reading my blog I have gone through this before but it doesn’t get any easier the subsequent time, no matter how confident you are that everything will be okay. Â Well I hope I am headed there, hoping they didn’t close due to weather, I don’t think I can handle any more waiting.
While the back of my mind is saying “It’s all going to be fine, results will be normal” there are always the What if’s in your mind. Â I mean you never think anything really bad as far as health is concerned will happen to you until you are old and even then you may be healthy until the day you die. Â You think this for your family members as well and then bam out of the blue two young females in your family get breast cancer within months of each other and well it makes your mind go all sorts of ways.
I remember the first time I went through this and found the big mass and it all came back fine but then shortly after my mom (who had been praying for me through my ordeal) got diagnosed with breast cancer.  I remember thinking to myself, what if she had never prayed for me,  would it have been me and not her like it was my fault or something.  I know I know that’s irrational thinking but for a moment I did think that.  Now here I am faced with another small lump and having watched my mom and aunt go through what they did my mind wanders.
In a worst case scenario the thing that has affected so many of my family members is what I will have (though I am hoping, praying that it is not that scenario). Â I watched my mom go through chemo and radiation and she was so strong it was so amazing the strength she had. Â If I were faced with that situation would I be able to have that same strength, part of me isn’t so sure I would. I worry, I am what my husband calls a hypochondriac thinking the worst when it comes to medical things, even though more than likely it will all be fine. Â I figure if I am prepared for the worst (even though I have faith it won’t come to that ultimately) then I will be relieved when it is better than what I expected. Â Does that make sense?
Well I believe I am rambling now, if you would keep me in your thoughts this morning and the next few days until I get the results. I don’t like the needle thing they used last time so I will be asking for that valium…I may come home and tweet pure nonsense if my husband doesn’t stop me (hopefully he loves me enough to save me the embarrassment LOL).  But let’s all hope I don’t pass out at the sight of the needle sucky thing, me and needles don’t go well together so this is not going to be one of my better days.  Now i am off to eat a bite before I leave.  I shall update you on my sanity after the procedure when I return.
Here goes nothing.
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Sweetie, I am praying for you! I know that everything will be fine, no matter what, because you are such a strong woman! Love ya and keep us posted!
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Thanks so much.
Good luck hun, you’ll be in my thoughts!!
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Thanks Gina
You are in my thoughts. Sending lots of good vibes your way and praying for b9 results!
Thinking of you, Toni. ((hugs))
You don’t know me, but I can sympathize. I have been through the scare twice myself. Also runs in my family. My friend Terry also just went through it and she is ok. You will be in my prayers. All will be ok. Take a deep breath. But…..in case it is the worst case scenario, I’m sure you will be strong, just like your mom. Have faith.
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sending you good energy!!!!
Oh Toni- that all very scary stuff. Sending you thoughts and prayers. Good for you staying on top of things though- better to be checked out than not know whats going on. Sending you Texas size hugs this morning:)
Shannon
Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers today! *hug*
Good luck, we’ll be thinking about you!
.-= Molly´s last blog ..Parenting advice from a 6-year-old =-.
Wishing you the best and that your results will all be normal!
When I was 17, I found a small lump in my breast which I had removed. It was benign, but I couldn’t stand having it in there.
G’s mom (I didn’t want his name to be Googled) was diagnosed at her first mam. It was in the early stages. She underwent a mastectomy, chemo, and she got implants. She was so strong throughout it all and she is now back to working long hours.
Sending positive thoughts your way.
Hugs,
Sheena
.-= Sheena @ Sophistishe´s last blog ..Popinjay: BOLD =-.
I know you didn’t want to tell me what was going on with you, but did you not realize I read your blog? Follow you on Twitter? Follow you on Facebook?
I was praying for you yesterday, and today, and tomorrow. Results will be normal… I just know it!
Thinking about you today and sending healthy vibes.
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So sorry to hear you have to go through this. It can be so scary having to go and get tests and sit and wonder. I’ve been in that position. I had to get blood work done, then they sent me to a cancer doctor to read the results of my white blood cells. It totally freaked me out and was very hard to sit and wait to hear the doctor tell me everything was fine. My sister, my uncle, and my grandmother all passed away from different kinds of cancer. Praying for you to have good results!
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So sorry you hafta’ go through this Toni. If a personality can protect you in ANY way, your positive attitude SURELY will! I am an old fart…and have seen many women the past years go through these scares and most were just that! thinking positive for you and am sure you will too. GO OUT to thAT movie this weekend and do whatever you can to get your mind off of it for now. Will be thinking of you!
I’m so sorry. You’ve got the right attitude and that goes a long way. Cancer runs strong in our family and it’s definitely a hard thing to go through. We’ll be praying for you.