It’s no secret that marriage is AWESOME, at least for me it is, I hope you can say the same. While it awesome there are moments that may not be so awesome but the key is sticking it out and knowing a few tips to make your relationship stay strong. Today I want to share some of my tried and true tips for having a happy and healthy marriage!
- COMMUNICATE! If you can’t communicate then things could get tough really quick. There are going to be uncomfortable moments in every marriage. I am lucky, that overall, my husband and I don’t really fight. Yes we disagree but because we communicate we avoid the big fights that other couples can have. The best way to avoid a fight is to communicate, sit and talk. If you sit and bottle up feelings they can fester and make you bitter when really all you need to do is put your big girl or boy undies on and chat it out.
- 5-to-1! For every 1 criticism you give your partner and let’s face it we have all criticized the one we love at least once or twice, whether in our head or aloud, give them 5 compliments. We should be able to point out the good things more often than the negative, because if you are constantly seeing or pointing out the negative it’s dangerous. You wouldn’t want someone to be constantly criticizing you so why do that to the person who you are spending your life with. If you think she’s beautiful tell her, if he really made your day washing those dishes let him know. Chances are it will be one of the highlights of their day
- Say I Love You! Most think this is a given, but with the hustle and bustle of daily life some people forget to say the three words which mean so much “I Love You”. Anytime my husband and I get off the phone or one of us has to be apart from the other we don’t hang up or leave without saying I Love You. It’s one of the most important phrases for us to never forget to say. If we ever hung up from a conversation or had to be apart and didn’t say I love you I would feel off. That gives you an idea of how important it is, funny how three little words are so impacting.
- Intimacy Is Important! I will be the first to say my libido went to almost non-existent after my second child and I had to send out a search party to find it after my third child. That being said I definitely believe intimacy is a key part in marriage. I’m not always in the mood but it’s easy to get in the mood pretty quick. We don’t always have time to make it an “I could win an olympic medal for this” event but we can sneak it in here and there. This is the person you love, intimacy is definitely one of the ways you are closest to your spouse, lost in a moment of love. Too often we let it go by the wayside and so many marriages suffer when the intimacy goes down the drain. It definitely doesn’t need to be the only thing keeping your marriage together but it shouldn’t be the thing that is non-existent either.
- Date! Not other people, but your spouse. When you met, when you started talking as friend, and then progressed into things more serious you went out together, just the two of you. Dating is still just as important during marriage. At home it’s so easy to stick to the day to day things we have to do (work, school, sports, homework, dinner, bed, the next day repeat) and so sometimes lengthy conversations aren’t always possible. I don’t know about your kids but mine like to be the ones with the attention 90% of the time at home. So, for my husband and I date nights are a night we can really talk and connect. We are always changing and new things happening in our lives and it’s important to share those things and what better way to continue getting to know your spouse in the same way you got to know them before you were married…on a date!
- Get away! I am sure you are shaking your head thinking, what does she mean “Get Away”. Not as in leave and never come back but make time for your friends. Just as important as it is to go on a date and stay connected to your spouse, I fully believe it is just as important to have a little “me” time with friends or even alone. Taking time away to regroup, refresh and refocus does wonders. It could be as little as 20 minutes or if needed, several hours. Getting away and just focusing on yourself and/or your friends is something we try to do.
- Compromise! There are definitely things my husband and I do not agree on, but that doesn’t need to turn into WWIII. If we take the times to lay out the areas of importance: discipline, finances, values, or whatever else it may be and set “rules” it’s much easier than trying to hold your ground when a situation arises. If there are things you both feel strongly about see if it is easier to let him have this area and you take that area, if it’s an area where neither of you feel comfortable budging then it is time to compromise.
Marriage is wonderful, but it does take work. Every moment may not be warm fuzzies but you can have happy moments every day. What you put into your marriage is what you will get out of it, I am a firm believer in that. What are some of your tips to having a happy marriage?