Well Well. It’s a new day and a new controversy I might add. As you may or may not recall I had the amazing opportunity to go meet with a company I have used and loved all my life for the Nestle Family Gathering. When myself along with other bloggers from all over the web went to Nestle to say we got flack for it would be an understatement. We were informed of reasons we should not work in any way with Nestle.

I came across this post by my friend Amy which was followed up by an Accountability Post from one of the major boycotters. Imagine my surprise to find out this blogger is not only attending a conference sponsored by a company she is very adamantly against but she is in fact speaking at it. I seem to think that is a bit hypocritical after all the flack we were given, now it’s okay for one of the major players who called Nestle out to speak at a conference they are sponsoring.

Before I continue because this could get long let me try to sum up my thoughts in a vlog:

Okay now, let’s get back to it. She is going to donate money to charity which I think is great but is this blogger doing it to appease her guilty conscience? To attend let alone speak at a conference sponsored by a company you claim to despise their practices seems a bit on the hypocritical side to me. This issue that was so very black and white to this blogger along with the other boycotters is now gray it seems. Changing the rules to fit the situation is what the outside sees.

If I had spoken out against a company as much as some of these people have and boycotted and pushed others to boycott, would I attend or speak at an event they were sponsoring part of? ABSOLUTELY NOT. It’s not worth my integrity and going back on saying I would never support anything they do. By buying a ticket and going to a conference they are sponsoring in some way you are indirectly supporting that company in my opinion, even if you give to charities after. I would either sell my ticket or be out the money if I had already paid for an event and a company I do not support at all were part of it. And for my family with our financial situation that would be like a punch to the gut but I couldn’t go if I felt as strongly as some of these people claimed.  I guess that’s just me though.

I just can’t wrap my head around they way some of them are “okaying” their decision when in my eyes after everything they did and said, I would think it would be an easy decision. Stand behind what you believe fully or admit you bend the rules to fit your situation. I respect the ones (yes even the ones who attacked me while at Nestle) who have pulled out, those are the ones I see as standing behind the cause 150%. They don’t waver and are true to the cause they are advocating or the movement they stand behind. I tip my hat to them and give those people a standing ovation.

To the ones who are not sure what to do, well it seems like a simple answer to me. Either admit that your black and white issue has a gray area or back out and stand up for the cause you believe in with all your mind, heart and soul. It’s not a hard decision or shouldn’t be in my opinion. If you want to make the way you feel on something have a gray area then do that, just don’t be surprised when some of the credibility you have with me and so many others drops. Ultimately it’s your decision and you have to live with it.

And now I shall get off my soapbox but I want to hear your thoughts.  When does making a black and white issue gray become okay? What would you do in this situation? If you had spoken out as strong as some of these people did would you attend an event the company you spoke out against sponsored?  Please share any other thoughts as well.

All comments welcome on this post but any comments that are attacking another person will be deleted, no hurtful personal attacks will be tolerated.  Debate away but be mature about it.

So the news came over to interview me about the Hot Blogger Calendar and my blog this past Friday.  I think it went horribly.  I am so worried about the clip, I was sick and on allergy meds so my brain was groggy.   So exactly how do I think I did watch and see:

Yep unless by some miracle I am remembering it wrong I feel like I am going to look like a schmuck. One shall see when they do the story. I hope it’s just me being too hard on myself but until sometime next week we won’t know. Guess it’s better to expect it to be bad and it not be as bad as you thought than to think you rocked it and it sucked big time huh. Well on the plus side it is giving me speaking experience so when I get famous all the interviews then will be a breeze.

It’s amazing that I can vlog on here, dance like an idiot and then freak out for this…my priorities need to shift a bit. Or I need to think of the camera for a news station as a webcam, that might make it a little easier LOL. Anyhoo, now we just wait and see. Have a great Monday everyone!

Well after talking with my friend Sara, I couldn’t not vlog about this. Today you are getting Tampon Talk with Toni. An interesting vlog topic I am sure (probably not so much to the men). Here are my thoughts on a subject that had my friend and I cracking up. No worries there is no instruction video…I have enough class to not show my body on my blog..but not quite enough not to talk about tampons. Hey they are a occurrence in most women’s life so why not have the conversation.

Now you share your thoughts. What in the name of heavens would you do if you got asked to write a review on tampons…even for me it’s a bit skeevy. And how’s that weekend starting post for ya.

I was nominated for January/February for Hot Blogger Calendar…and I didn’t even nominate myself (hooray LOL). I headed over there on Monday when I saw a tweet to go cast my vote and low and behold there was my name. Of course I gave myself my vote and now you come in. I would love for you all to head over and Vote, Vote, Vote for Me (Toni, just in case you forgot my name). Okay so this isn’t life or blog death but I would love to to represent the month of love (and my anniversary) and be Hot Blogger Calendar’s February Female.

You know me I love all things girly and pink and what better month than me to represent than love month right. Now hear my campaign speech:

Okay so I would suck if I were running for president with that speech but I can totally own this Hot Blogger Calendar title. Oh Yes I can!! You know you want to see me in the calendar…and a *HUGE* bonus, you will get to see the process, from make up (that means the pre make up face…although that might scare some so you may want to stay away from those videos) to the photo session. If I can take my little Sony Bloggie, I can vlog it and you can experience it. See I like to share the love.

So head over to Hot Blogger Calendar and VOTE VOTE VOTE for Toni, because well

I love you, you love me
I really want to be in HBC.
With a great big smile and lots of pink to wear
Don’t you want to see me there!

Hurry though, Voting ENDS TOMORROW 3/5 so get over there asap and vote! This is Life or Blog Death…okay so I will live but let’s pretend I won’t for the sake of dramatics. Now go forth and vote!

My baby, my little tiny MacBook quit working yesterday. Okay that’s not necessarily true, it comes on but never gets past the little screen with the apple when starting up. I am so sad, so it’s at the Mac doctor today. I know they can fix it but I am hoping beyond hope that even if they have to replace the hard drive they can get all my pictures from the last year and my iTunes music/apps/movies at least so I don’t have to start all over and lose all that.

THAT WOULD ROYALLY SUCK!

It all happened yesterday and yes in fact I did cry. Now to top it off today, I can’t get into my email account that goes with this blog. AND…it’s that time of the month..yes I went there. So chalk it all up to let’s see how sucky we can get before it gets better in Toni’s week. But next week it should get better right.

Now someone please tell me that they will be able to save all my stuff on my MacBook. SIGH.  This is definitely not a Positively Positive post.

They just started the second season of 16 & Pregnant on MTV last night and it made me cringe all over.  The little girl they featured was probably the most selfish little girl I have ever seen.  I only hope since the show she has matured.  However what I saw last night was a senior in high school who essentially took the title of mom while her mom was the one doing everything with the baby.  I was glad when her mom stood up to her.  Having a baby isn’t cool and something high school girls should think is.

Unfortunately with MTV’s 16 & Pregnant and their Teen Mom show I fear that is exactly what is happening.  I think while the concept is to show the struggles that come with pregnancy and parenthood that some high school girls are going to see this show and think “Hey I want a baby and maybe I can be on MTV”.  It’s so sad that there is even a second season to begin with, kids shouldn’t think parenthood is “cool” or easy.

While I love my kids and now that I am older I think it’s “cool” that is not what teenagers should be thinking!  Teen pregnancy is not cool, easy, hip.  Babies are not the new “must have” accessory.  While last season I completely give props to Caitlynn for doing what was best for her child, I don’t think this show is doing what it may have started out intending to do.  I think MTV wanted to educate but now I feel like ratings are so good they are going to continue to highlight these high school pregnancies and some poor girl is going to get pregnant in hopes of becoming “famous”.

I am even appalled at myself for continuing to watch and as I type out this blog post.  I just can’t help but wonder if MTV is possibly doing more harm than good with this series.  I would love to hear your thoughts too, please leave them in the comments below.

Do you think this is a subject that should be highlighted in the way MTV is doing it or is there a better way?

Is it making pregnancy for teens “cool”?

Do you think it really will help any teens see the hardships of teen pregnancy and parenting?  Is this one of those issues that isn’t so black and white?

Thanks in advance for sharing your thoughts with me on this.

*Check out Lori’s Post after you have read mine and read what thoughts sparked after she read my thoughts, love her post.*

And that is how today’s episode of My Sucky LIfe is.  That’s all I have to say.

While the back of my mind is saying “It’s all going to be fine, results will be normal” there are always the What if’s in your mind.  I mean you never think anything really bad as far as health is concerned will happen to you until you are old and even then you may be healthy until the day you die.  You think this for your family members as well and then bam out of the blue two young females in your family get breast cancer within months of each other and well it makes your mind go all sorts of ways.

I remember the first time I went through this and found the big mass and it all came back fine but then shortly after my mom (who had been praying for me through my ordeal) got diagnosed with breast cancer.  I remember thinking to myself, what if she had never prayed for me,  would it have been me and not her like it was my fault or something.  I know I know that’s irrational thinking but for a moment I did think that.  Now here I am faced with another small lump and having watched my mom and aunt go through what they did my mind wanders.

In a worst case scenario the thing that has affected so many of my family members is what I will have (though I am hoping, praying that it is not that scenario).  I watched my mom go through chemo and radiation and she was so strong it was so amazing the strength she had.  If I were faced with that situation would I be able to have that same strength, part of me isn’t so sure I would. I worry, I am what my husband calls a hypochondriac thinking the worst when it comes to medical things, even though more than likely it will all be fine.  I figure if I am prepared for the worst (even though I have faith it won’t come to that ultimately) then I will be relieved when it is better than what I expected.  Does that make sense?

Well I believe I am rambling now, if you would keep me in your thoughts this morning and the next few days until I get the results. I don’t like the needle thing they used last time so I will be asking for that valium…I may come home and tweet pure nonsense if my husband doesn’t stop me (hopefully he loves me enough to save me the embarrassment LOL).  But let’s all hope I don’t pass out at the sight of the needle sucky thing, me and needles don’t go well together so this is not going to be one of my better days.  Now i am off to eat a bite before I leave.  I shall update you on my sanity after the procedure when I return.

Here goes nothing.

I WANTED Cover Girl Smoky Eye Kit in Natural, yes I did and thanks to Collective Bias and Cover Girl I was able to get that.  I was sent a Walmart Gift Card to purchase the kit with and I went right to purchasing, after all a girl with money to spend on make up is like a kid in a candy store (or for me at least).  All we had to do is Whrrl our stories from purchase to use and then do a video tutorial using the kit, if we so wanted.

Now you know me and video go hand in hand so who was I to even think about passing up the video part of this experiment.  I think secretly they all hoped I would want to be involved since I am such a ham.  Hey who better to do a Cover Girl demonstration than the fun girl who dances around without a second thought.  Though much to your disappointment I am sure, I did not dance while doing my tutorial.  Liquid liner and myself do not mix well when I am standing still so add dancing into the mix and it’s a sure fire way to end myself up in the ER having an eye replacement.  Wouldn’t be pretty and we are going for pretty with this kit people!  Or HOT I like hot better so we are going for Hot!

Moving on.  The first part of the experiment was simply to whrrl our purchases from either one of the participating Walmarts (the ones that actually carried the Cover Girl Smoky Eye Kits) or from Walmart.com.  Now I had to do mine online because none of the stores around me had the kits.  So without further ado, I take you to my purchase story:

My Purchase Whrrl Story

Now I know you are all drooling over the Natural Kit that I selected because well it’s HOT, however there are two others. One that is a blue based Smoky Eye called Bold. The other is the “traditional” Smoky Eye look, a charcoal color called Glamourous. Now I think they are both absolutely gorgeous, but me being a bit worried I might mess something up I went the safe route. Sorry if you are looking for daring this time you are going to be disappointed. I was chicken plain and simple but the Natural kit is gorgeous too.

Now once my kit arrived I dove right in as if it were a cool pool on a sweltering day. In the package are 3 items, the dual eye color stick, liquid eyeliner (kill me now) and the mascara. I can’t really put into words my experience so I have two things for you to see it through. If you want a click glance at the process click through my whrrl story. However if you are looking for a laugh and want to watch me fumble my way through liquid liner watch the video tutorial…BEWARE though I do not offer refunds of the 9.5 minutes of your life you will spend laughing at me:

My whrrl using the Smoky Eye Kit

My Video Tutorial of Smoky Eyes:

Now if you are a beginner or a veteran with makeup you are going to love these kits. With the instructions on the back like this:

It makes creating a Smoky Eye Look pretty much elementary. You can choose how drastic you make the Smokiness on yourself. Cover Girl Smoky Eye Kits are a perfect all in one for you, pick one (or all 3 up, which I will eventually do) at Walmart.com (or a Walmart near you if they carry them, not all of them do though). Now maybe next time I will go a little more drastic with my Smokiness and if I do you will be the first to see.

*I was supplied a gift card to purchase the kit with. There was no monetary compensation for this post. Opinions on the kit are that of myself and are not influenced by the reception of the gift card to purchase the kit with. Thank you to Collective Bias and Cover Girl for allowing me to have this opportunity.

Would people be able to say they would be proud of the way they acted?  Would they want their children to act in ways they have?  Our children are the next generation, what we teach them they are taking forward with them and in turn teaching those lessons to future generations.  What is it we want them to take with them?

Is it to be mean to others, to try to tear others down, to blackmail others, to say it’s okay to use things told in confidence against someone, to harass others, to not trust, to not love, to be selfish.  The only correct way is their way, that they shouldn’t be okay with compromise in some cases.  If that is what some people are okay with teaching their children then that saddens me.  It makes my heart hurt for those children.  What a horrible example to have to follow.

As for me and my house we will serve God, we will not tear others down we will lift them up, we will know that sometimes compromise is key (not in all circumstances of course), that just because a friendship ends it doesn’t give free reign to spill anything told in confidence.  I want them to know that harassing someone else is never the key, being mean to someone doesn’t make you better than them, and instead of being selfish it’s better to be selfless.  Give of themselves, be a confidant for someone who needs a friend, love someone who others may not.  I want them to be confident enough that if they see a group of people being mean to someone they will stand up for what’s right no matter if it costs them “popularity points”.

To my children:

My dear sweet angels I hope every day that passes you know undoubtedly how very much I love you.  My life was so incomplete before you all made your appearance into this world.  I want you to know that you don’t have to go with the flow, sometimes the flow is grouped with people who like to tear down and destroy others.  If you notice that is the flow surrounding you I want you to push yourself out, I want you to stand up to people who are out to hurt others for gain.  I want you to show that to gain doesn’t mean to tear down but rather build others up.

There is a phrase “Don’t do as I do, do as I say”  however as your mother I don’t want that to be a phrase for us to follow.  I want you to see me as an example.  Have I done things in my past without thinking about the consequences, absolutely.  Have I learned lessons the hard way, definitely.  However because of that I can honestly say I have learned and now I will take into account everything I do because I want you not only to do as I say but do as I do.  What good is being a parent to you if I can’t be the example for you to follow.

I see children who have parents who are a terrible example for them. Children who have nothing to learn from but hurt, anger, watching their parents treat others badly and that hurts my heart and solidifies even more that I will not be one of those parents. I want to be your example.  I want to teach you by example because even when parents think they aren’t, children are watching the example we set and it’s during those times I think affect the children more than anything.  The moments we parent’s are not obvious to the fact our children are taking in everything we do or say.  The actions we have, they way we treat others, the things we say.

I want others to look at you and see three amazing children who treat others with respect, kindness and yet don’t allow themselves to be walked all over.  You don’t have to be a bully to stand up for yourself and a lot of people have forgotten that.  It’s easier for them to attack and hurt others to make themselves seem stronger but in the end that will leave them with a reputation that one doesn’t want to be stuck with.   I want them to see God in all aspects of your life from how you speak to your actions.  I am looking forward to watching you grow and change over the years and to see the awesome plan God has for your lives.

Through the years the one thing I hope you will be able to say when you think of me as your parent is:

“Because she is my mom I learned what love was, I learned what it meant to trust, be kind to others, to help others, to support others.  I learned that it’s okay not to jump on the bandwagon when that wagon is headed in a wrong direction.  It’s okay to go against the flow when the flow is taking you in the wrong direction.  You don’t have to attack others or tear the down just to make yourself look better.  I learned what it mean to be a friend and just because a friendship may end doesn’t give me the right to share things that aren’t mine to share.  I learned what it truly means to lead by example and most importantly I learned that no matter what, whether I was good or bad your love for me didn’t alter in any way shape or form and I always knew where to run when I needed that extra hug or an extra I love you.”

Will I make mistakes along this continued journey of parenthood, there is no doubt in my mind I will, however I do hope the mistakes are far less than the good things.  My angel babies I love each one of you more than I could ever express in this lifetime and I hope in years to come I have set such an example for you, you will be proud to say ” I want to be as wonderful a parent to my kids as my mom was to me” .  I can definitely look back and say that about your My-My.  Sometimes in life you may not like me very much but in the end when you look back you will see the things I did were always for your own good and I hope and pray your kids won’t like you in the same way, because you were looking out for them and their good.

I love you my sweet babies.

~Mommy~

And I close this post with a song that I absolutely love, Greatest Love of All.  Because the children truly are our future, what are you teaching yours??