Obviously not today, my oldest is 12 so soon we will be having the dreaded discussions. I am lucky in the fact my boys are a bit on the immature side so I have been able to avoid some talk (minus the changes and all that jazz) thus far. My oldest will be 13 in exactly six months from tomorrow so the time is fast approaching that I am (or preferably my husband) will have to go into more detail about hormone issues outside of the body changes. It terrifies me because I have to face the fact my kids are, in fact, growing up.
Yes, yes I am one of those moms who holds on to the innocence as long as I can. Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny still live for all of them for goodness sakes. As I sat here today, I realized I might be holding myself in my own little delusional bubble and I am going to have to pop it sooner rather than later. I don’t want my kids to end up in the same situations I did and if that means grossing them out for a bit with some non-graphic details of my first time so be it.
I was much too young, at 15, to lose my virginity but it happened in a backyard, in a tent no less…..romantic I know. It wasn’t the most horrible thing that happened to me in life, so please don’t think that. I just want my kids to desire more for themselves when it comes to giving such a priceless gift to another. I want them to want more than a romantic rendezvous in a tent, in a backyard. If that means sharing my situation of giving of myself and whatever other examples, in a tactful way, so be it. I would rather be the example used than them be the example for themselves and do something that they can’t take back.
I am not a prude at all and I think S E X is a very beautiful thing, when it’s with the right person. I thought I was in love, of course, when it happened so that is why I can look back with little regrets (other than I didn’t save myself completely for my husband). I, however, want them to not look back at all. I want them to look forward and know that holding off is okay, that not listening to those screaming teen hormones is worth more than giving into them. That if you find the one you are going to marry in high school that’s wonderful but wait, don’t short yourself, experience life with no strings. Because with sex there are strings, even if they aren’t obvious.
The dreaded S talk is right around the corner and I will be using myself as an example because I want more for my kids than a tent. I want love, a life with no regrets and wholeness for them because if they are anything like me and they give themselves away to someone other than the person they marry they will have some emotional repairs (big or small) to do. It’s an emotional thing for me and considering they have my DNA I am assuming some of that got passed along. I want them to focus on the important things in life and while they are growing up and becoming the person they are going to be that’s what they need to focus on, not high school love and hormones.
I lost my virginity in a tent and I’m going to tell my kids about it, because I love them enough to want more for them than I had for myself. Have you had to had the S talk with your kids yet? How did you not freak out, because it seriously creeps the bejeebers out of me!