Why am I a horrible mom or in the term “worst mom ever and I wish you weren’t my mom” as said by my son this morning? Because I made him go to school. Something he has done the last 7 almost 8 years has me coined the worst mom ever. He found out his aunt’s were staying home today because one was sick and the other was staying home with her (yes I have sister’s my sons age) and I instantly became the bad guy.
It’s no different than the times I made him go every other day but because he thinks it’s unfair that they don’t have to go so it’s become the worst day ever. He was not very kind to me in the words he spoke. In fact he downright hurt my feelings and broke my heart. It’s so strange how a child knows just what to say that rips at your soul. I tried to explain to him that because I love him so much I make him go to school, that if I didn’t care about his future I would just let him do whatever he wanted. No love was seen by him and he was so bitter towards me it broke me. It broke me to the point of tears. Not in front of him but once I came home the tears fell and I actually felt like the worst mom ever.
It’s such a strange thing to feel like the worst mom ever when you are actually doing the best thing for your child. Maybe that’s what got me….that he was so angry at me even though I was doing what some children aren’t lucky enough to have their parents do…loving him and making him strive to have the best future possible. I hope one day, when he is through this stage of life, he can look back and say “You know I didn’t realize it but my mom loved me enough to push me, to make me do things I didn’t want to that were beneficial to me”. I hope that one day down the road he realized everything I do for him (as well as his siblings) is to make sure their lives are the best they can be.
Until then I will have to deal with the bitter and angry moments because no matter how they feel in that moment I know I am doing the best thing for him. Have you ever had to deal with your kids saying something that really hurt you to the core? How did you handle it?