And it made me think about so many things. The just of what happened was there was something that had been told to one of the higher ups that supposedly last night there was a gang iniation going to happen and the initiation was to go to one of the stores in our area and kill 5 females. I had never in my life had such a pit feeling in my stomach. I just prayed and prayed. Obviously that never happened, I am here today. But I was so scared because we didn’t know whether or not the rumor had any truth behind it.
During the time when I wasn’t sure whether to believe this or not, I sat and thought about so many things and realized. Life is not worth living miserably. I have been very bitter at people who hurt me. Now I don’t retaliate but being bitter isn’t good. It’s only going to eat at me and in turn affect my children, my family, my life!
What reason do I have to hold a grudge and ruin my life…none. Sure I have been done wrong by some people but I should not let me eat me up inside and make me angry. So last night the funny thing was I just started praying for forgiveness for being bitter and forgiving those who hurt me one by one. Basically just letting go and letting God heal my heart. Then, I started praying for them and their families that they would be blessed. I decided instead of being bitter I am going to pray for nothing but blessings in their lives. It’s much better for them and my spirit :).
I do think saying outright you forgive someone that has hurt you is the first process in healing your heart, even if you can’t necessarily say it directly to that person for whatever reason, still say it. So while I won’t name any names I am saying right now I forgive you. The person (people) who have hurt me and I have been holding onto that hurt in order to not be hurt again. Almost like keeping a guard up to keep people out. I forgive you for the lies you told about me, I forgive you for the mean things you have done to me, I forgive you completely. I hope that you and your family and all that you do prospers and nothing but good things happen to you. I pray that you are blessed every single day for the rest of your life.
I also would like to apologize to those who I have hurt knowingly or unknowingly. I hope those who I have hurt knowingly or unknowingly can do the same for me. However like I said the anger and bitterness will really only hurt them in the end. So I can only hope for their sake, not mine.
Sometimes you have to have something so scary happen in life to really make you see areas that are not worth mulling over as well as areas that you should focus your attention on. Bitterness is something that will eat away at your heart and make your life miserable. It’s something that will start so small and then grow so fast and affect you so much that you are confused as to how and when your life became so wrapped up in it.
Instead forgive and then turn that bitterness into focusing on yourself, renew yourself, spend more time with your children, spend time praying with God. I really think that has made a lot of difference in my life lately. It’s a miserable life to live being bitter and in the end it really doesn’t affect anyone but yourself. So if there is any bitterness you have or are holding onto I hope that you can find someway to let it go.
Also another thing I have been really making sure I do daily is just sit and pray, pray for my life, my families lives, and friends. Pray for those who have needs that need to be met and I thought what a good idea to start asking if anyone has prayer requests and I will add them to my prayer time. So I think I will. If you have any needs in your life and would like me to keep them in my prayers please feel free to email me [email protected] A little prayer goes a long way
So today just let go and let God in some area of your life I have!