A Daily Dose of Toni » language http://juststopscreaming.com Thu, 24 May 2012 21:15:55 +0000 en hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.2 Guest Post: Memo to the Language Assassins http://juststopscreaming.com/2009/07/guest-post-memo-to-language-assassins http://juststopscreaming.com/2009/07/guest-post-memo-to-language-assassins#comments Fri, 10 Jul 2009 13:00:00 +0000 Toni http://juststopscreaming.com/2009/07/guest-post-memo-to-the-language-assassins Guest Post by Mrs. M from I’ve Changed my Name to Mommy

Dear Language Assassins,

I know this is the internet and not an English classroom, and I’m really not trying to “harsh your buzz” or whatever it is you say these days, but if it wouldn’t be too much trouble do you think you could learn to write? I have some suggestions that might help you-please look them over and see if you might be able to use any of them.

Firstly, the internet isn’t one of your train-side tags. The internet is a big, wide open space-feel free to write in complete sentences. Maybe even spell out a word or two. This is especially helpful when you are in debate forums. You can’t build a decent argument without effective communication.

-Example-
Good: Your argument is faulty, and clearly my logic is far superior.

Bad: Learn2Logic. Strawman FAIL. U R PW3D.

Which brings me to my next point-please stop making up words. Unless you are a lexicographer that really isn’t your job, and I assure you the English language has been communicating effectively for centuries without your non-sensical and/or purposely misspelled contributions.

funny cat

Please consider eliminating the following “words” from your vocabulary: PW3D, No0b, FAIL, ATWD, FUBAR, and L8R.

Lastly, let’s talk about my personal pet peeve-homonyms. I know that it is easier to type “there” “your” and “accept” regardless of the context, and I appreciate your attempt to actually write something out ‘long hand’ I really do, but it can really get distracting when you’re constantly using the wrong word.

-Example-
Your going to have to watch your language hear-their are no acceptions.

Look, it’s really simple-I understand that you’re not typing online with a dictionary on hand. Typos happen. Misspellings happen. Bad grammar happens. That’s okay, the English language is pretty flexible…but if I need a magic decoder ring to figure out what you are saying that’s not effective communication that’s just a language hatchet job.

In short, you are not an LOL cat, please don’t type like one.

Sincerely,
Concerned English Speaking Person

*Note from Toni: I have no idea what PW3D, No0b, FAIL, ATWD, FUBAR are LOL. And I probably mess up one if not all of their key points, my apologies my friend. I will shall try harder to not not to mess up. Their There I made an oath fer for you. *giggle*

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